10 Things I Hate About Being A Check-Out Chick

Since my username is 'annatheannoying', I thought I'd put something up about annoying people; in particular, check-out people.

10 WAYS TO ANNOY A 'SERVICE CASHIER':

1. If you're paying with notes, fold them or crumple them up so that they're as little as possible. If the notes aren't nice and flat, then they tend to spring up whenever you lift that thing that holds them down.

2. Pay with as much change as possible. And make sure not to count it out in front of the person, because they can count it while you're doing it. So if you just hand them out a lot of change, they have to count it out for themselves.

3. If paying by EFTPOS and asked if you want cash out, change your mind constantly (I don't know if you can do this at other supermarkets, but you can at Safeway).

4. When getting change, ask for it in 5c coins, or whatever you think you can carry, depending on how much you're getting back. This works really well with number 2, and you can get some extra annoyance in if you go back to the same person and pay them with all the change that you just got! [Plus, in order to give you your change, they might have to order more change, so they'll have to call their supervisor to get that change.]

5. If you're buying lots of stuff, tell them that you don't need a bag, and then watch them as they run out of space to place things. Laugh a little to yourself, and then tell them that you changed you mind (or that you realised that you forgot your bags), and that you do actually want everything bagged.

6. Try and get it so that you get $88.85 change (if you're feeling rich and like carrying around $100 notes), or $38.85- basically an amount that makes them have to use as many different coins and notes possible.

7. Go through at the express lane and hold a basket (with about 10 items) saying something like, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I think I'm over the limit. Is it still OK if I come through?". If it works, they'll look at your basket and say, "Yeah, you're probably just over," [insert attempt at polite smile] "Come on through." You hand over your basket and while they're halfway through say, "Oh, and I forgot about these 5 other baskets that I had, silly me! Sorry about that." If you're at Safeway, and you've spent over $15, then the cashier will have to call their supervisor to void that sale (I don't know the value for anywhere else), so I think they'd rather just finish it off.

8. This one is a little gross, but if you're after a lot of meat, make sure that it's still dripping blood. If it drips enough, then they'll have to get a mop and bucket to clean it (Yep, I've had to do this.) because it's a safety hazard if the floor is wet- can't have too many of those lying around. Also, if they don't clean up the blood, it dries, and it's hell cleaning blood off those conveyor belt things.

9. Buy a few items, and then exclaim that you've forgotten something. Ask if you can quickly run and get it. If they're nice, which most of them are (and I know that this will make you feel a little guilty), but run off and... DON'T COME BACK! Yep, just leave through another register, or out of any other exit that you can find. After a while, they'll save the transaction and continue serving other people (waiting customers are grumpy people, and grumpy people are very persuasive). If you're feeling particularly mean, choose that time to come back, and seem angry that they didn't wait.

10. When you are being served, ask the cashier how they are. When they ask you in return, tell them your life story. This one takes a little guts, but make sure that there are people behind you, and don't make any signs of moving away. Even if you've paid for your stuff already, keep talking. If you manage it well enough, they won't be able to get a word in. [This is one of the reasons why I hate the question 'How are you?'] Eventually, someone behind you will get angry. You have to judge this right- some people start sighing, but they're not likely to say anything. Others will start reading a magazine, so they're fine. It's usually someone that's alone and/or carrying a lot of stuff that is likely to get angry. Also, try to make it seem natural, but turn around and pretend not to notice everyone (you could demonstrate a dance move or something), but check to see if anyone is looking at their watch. If they pull out a gun, that's definitely a sign that you should make haste!


I have to say though, nobody mentioned any of this stuff to me when I did cashier training. They told us about people who ae picky about which things go in which bags, and people who demand plastic bags for a piece of gum, but never any of the people who do those above listed things. If they had, I think that I would have thought twice about taking this job. I swear, it's an exercise in emotional restraint.

Anyway, I just wanted to complain about work. Please, please, don't do anything that I just listed there. You never know, you might be the cause of supermarket cashiers committing suicide.