Bend It Like Tse-Tung

Bend It Like Beckham was on just then. I love that movie, and it's because of that movie that I had this thing for Indian people. I was just thinking about how my parents would react if I told them that I wanted to marry a non-Chinese person. Well, after they got over the initial shock of me wanting to get married. Considering that my cousin recently married an Aussie, and another of my cousins is going to do the same next year, I don't think it'd be that much of a problem, but let's think worst case scenario here.

They're too polite to just tell him to get lost. They'd have to think of some other way to make him think twice. So first on their list would have to be exposing him to the craziness that is my extended family. First he would be inundated with names. "Hey, this is my Uncle Tony. This is _______." They'd shake hands, and then we'd move on to the next person. After my 9 aunts and 8 uncles, we'd move on to my cousins. Last count, there were 21, but that was 7 years ago. I think we've expanded far beyond that now. We have my older cousins that are now married, or have boy/girlfriends -who seem to change every month (not the married ones!). The teenage cousins that have discovered that it's not as boring if they bring along a friend (someone who has been well briefed in how to avoid being cross-interogated by my family). Last, there are the children of my married cousins, whose numbers seem to be growing at an exponential rate. Are you confused yet? Even I don't know the names of most of the people that I'd have to introduce to him.

If he somehow survives that and doesn't run away, then he'd have to survive the family Mah Jongg games. There's smoking, shouting, and at New Year's, drinking. On a bad day, there's accusations of cheating, and they can get really heated.

Last, I think my parents will try to scare him away by pretending to be Triad members. My mum is famous for stuffing people so that they can't move. He might think that they drugged him and are going to take him to a meat freezer and kill him Romeo Must Die style. I found out the one of my cousins got a dragon tattooed on to the back of his head- it's cool, but it has really creepy eyes! He'd help keep up the pretense.

http://annatheannoying.tripod.com/dantat.htm
(Daniel: If you're reading this a year from now, remember that you let me put this up!)

So considering that I've yet to fall for a Chinese guy, I think there are going to be a few problems in the future...

[By the way, Chuang Tse-Tung is a Chinese table tennis player, I just Googled a name.]